![]() ![]() How to offer criticism the best way possible That means receiving criticism will always have a greater impact than receiving praise. Our brains have evolved separate, more sensitive brain circuits to handle negative information and events, and they process the bad stuff more thoroughly than positive things. Kathryn Schulz, the author of Being Wrong, explains that that’s because “we don’t experience, remember, track, or retain mistakes as a feature of our inner landscape,” so wrongness “always seems to come at us from left field.”īut although criticism is more likely to be remember incorrectly, we don’t often forget it.Ĭlifford Nass, a professor of communication at Stanford University, says “almost everyone remembers negative things more strongly and in more detail.” We remember criticism strongly but inaccuratelyĪnother unique thing about criticism is that we often don’t remember it quite clearly.Ĭharles Jacobs, author of Management Rewired: Why Feedback Doesn’t Work, says that when we hear information that conflicts with our self-image, our instinct is to first change the information, rather than ourselves. But because our brains see criticism as such a primal threat, it’s actually much lower on the pyramid, in the belonging or safety spectrums.Ĭriticism can feel like an actual threat to our survival-no wonder it’s so tough for us to hear and offer. So when we look at Maslow’s famous hierarchy of needs, we might suppose that criticism is pretty high up on the pyramid-perhaps in the self-esteem or self-actualization quadrants. “Threats to our standing in the eyes of others are remarkably potent biologically, almost as those to our very survival,” says psychologist Daniel Goleman. Our brains view criticism as a threat to our survivalīecause our brains are protective of us, neuroscientists say they go out of their way to make sure we always feel like we’re in the right- even when we’re not.Īnd when we receive criticism, our brain tries to protect us from the threat it perceives to our place in the social order of things. ![]() As it turns out, there’s a psychological basis for both of these elements. It’s hard for us to feel like we’re wrong, and it’s even harder for us to hear that from others. What happens in our brains when we receive criticism I’ll also share with you some of the methods in which we offer and receive feedback at Buffer to try and make the experience less scary and more loving. In this post, we’ll explore how to give and receive feedback at work in the best ways possible, along with some of the psychology behind handling critical feedback (in both directions). If given and received in the right spirit, could sharing feedback-even critical feedback-become a different, better experience than the painful one we’re accustomed to? Could feedback become a valued opportunity and even a bonding, positive experience? ![]() Hearing potentially negative things about yourself is probably not your favorite activity, and most of us would rather avoid the awkwardness that comes with telling someone else how they could improve.īut what do we lose out on when we avoid these tough conversations? One of the fundamental skills of life is being able to give and receive advice, feedback and even criticism. ![]() No matter what we do or how well we do it, some criticism is eventually going to come our way.Īnd those moments are often some of the toughest we all face in work and life. ![]()
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